Monday, 30 November 2015

An Open Letter to my Best Friend


Hey everyone, 

 

So this is another thoughts post but I feel I need to air some things out and get them off my chest; I feel the best way to do this is an open letter to my best friend. 

I'm currently sat in my best friend’s car whilst he happily drifts the streets sideways; how I can be on my phone whilst he does it is beyond me but I've become accustomed to it aha!
 
I’ve been thinking lately just why can't I move on? I have a fantastic person sat next to me who does anything and everything for me, is there for me, and says all the right things. He brings me happiness when I'm down: makes me feel special, makes me so happy. He’s always there for me, sticking up for me when comments are made. He is the perfect person but why can't I say yes to making us both happy and being together?

My minds all over the place, I'm not hung up on my ex anymore yet I just don't feel as if I can be in a relationship yet and I feel like a mug. It's only been six months since the dreaded breakup that nearly drove me to death but I'm still here.

Why can't I just be happy and make him happy too? I think the world of him and would be lost without him. My mind just cannot function

And at this very moment he's asking me what I'm doing so sorry Josh I'm writing this which you're probably going to read later since you found my blog you sneaky so and so! Laughing at me whilst I currently word vom on here haha!

It's a weird one and I just want to make everyone happy - yes I'm happy at the moment but there keeps being knock backs with my conscious and subconscious taking over one another.

Part of me says yes, I will be yours. The other part says, Jodie not yet you need the time to yourself. What is this 'time'?! How long do I need?! Someone please tell me, they say to wait until you're ready again but when will that ready be? What is ready?! I can't fathom it right now.

You're the one who will let me cry, let me sing my heart out in the car; take me out for hours on end. Calling me just to make sure I'm alright. You're the only one I can rely on. You know my darkest secrets and demons. You know what brings me down. You know my current relationship with my parents. You know everything; most importantly you know how to make me happy. Every weekend we’re spending hours upon hours together, I think we counted that it was nine hours on Saturday night?

You do everything for me and I just want to be able to give it all back to you but I can't. I really wish I could. But right now my head my head is fucked - apologies for swearing everyone but it's the only word that explains how I'm feeling.

You share my love of the backstreet boys, cars, you let me be mysellf, and most importantly coffee - toffee latt├ęs if I'm exact aha. I'm also the best co-pilot, yes we nearly got arrested once but I've saved our arses every other time!

 

I'm going to leave it here because otherwise I think I might have a meltdown

 

Bloggers - any advice?

 

Josh if you read this I hope you understand

 

Until next time,
 
C xo

 

 

Tuesday, 24 November 2015

A thought for a Tuesday

Good morning you lovely lot,

So this is a bit of a thought for a Tuesday. Why do we take time out of our own lives to please other people? Some people may say it's the right thing to do to look after others, but if nobody is there to look out for you and check how you feel then why bother?

Some say it's inconsiderate if you don't but mentally if you can't then why should they be outed the 'bad person' here?

I say this as I'm sat on a busy train on my commute to work and seeing all these people around me; I wonder what their stories are? What's the lad been through who's got his head engrossed in a book? The old chap watching to the world go past in the window, what has he seen during his time? The young lad with the freshest pair of trainers I've seen in a while, how did he afford those when he looks younger than me?

There's a lot of what ifs and buts in this world but for once I'm telling you all, relax and spend some time on yourself instead of worrying about the matters of others. Trust me - you'll feel better about yourself in the long run and maybe, just maybe you'll find yourself!

Here's to a wet, rainy Tuesday!

Let me know what you're all up to today in the comments below.

Xo

Thursday, 19 November 2015

November Already!!!


As we reach the middle of November and begin the transformation from autumn to winter it’s no doubt that the weather is beginning to change dramatically here in the UK. Gone are the long summer days with bonfires down the beach and here come the evenings of being wrapped up in a blanket in front of the open fire in the lounge, drinking hot chocolate whilst watching The X Factor.

 

I guess things are different now, my long nights of staying in cuddling up with my now ex-boyfriend are over and I’m more interested in building cars again which I admit is something I have missed. Cars, bikes, quad bikes were my life as I was growing up and I’ll be honest I missed it so much. To be back under a car, changing oil filters, sorting out coilovers and changing tyres with the trusty nut gun. It’s another side of me that no one knew about, but it’s a side of me I’m so happy to have seen again.

 

Times have been nice lately, but I must admit I am not happy with the weather right now – I am a summer girl and sitting in the cold in the winter is not my forte!!! Although, it does mean Christmas is on its way soon which is something I know all of us bloggers enjoy!

 

Again, as I write all my blog posts I’m still sat at work in the same old job slowly going insane but fingers crossed something comes up in the New Year!

 

Let me know in the comments what you’ve been up to and how you all are!

 

Xo