Random Ramble

Hey guys,

Well I know I posted an update yesterday but today I just feel like I need to ramble in a place where I won't be judged.

Today I am struggling. I had my follow up appointment at the hospital today and to say I'm petrified would be an understatement. I don't want more tests to be ran on me, I don't want to know if I'm going to lose my womb before I'm 21, I don't want my kidneys to be failing. THIS IS ALL THE SHIT I DON'T WANT WHICH MAY POSSIBLY HAPPEN TO ME.

Life is so unfair, you know what I've even been praying lately, praying for happiness and my well being because I'm damn right scared and that I wish there is someone out there who can help me through all this and there's no one.

On top of all of this I've got to go back to work tomorrow and I really don't want to at all like I hate my job, my manager hates me and I don't get along witht he people I work with, and for the next 4 days I'm gonna have to sit and grit my teeth and somehow get through it all against my will and I really don't want to.

At the moment I wanna hide under a rock and just not get out for a while, maybe just book a holiday and go, but none of this is possible at the moment and it's not fair. I just wish things would go in the right direction  for once.

I'm sorry about this post guys, I will sort everything out soon - I feel like I'm letting my readers down by now showing nor giving enough on here. Believe you me I am trying and I will sort it soon, but this ramble, heck I'm sorry.

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